Nursing wasn’t easy

Yes, my post is a couple days late.  The holidays are partially to blame, as well as my little guy being off from school for the week.  However, as promised, my story continues…

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So fast forward a little more and I’m trying to nurse him.  Now I won’t get on a high horse and say you either nurse, or..well…you nurse.  Some women had/have trouble breast-feeding, and I’m one of them.  The nurse is there to help me nurse for the first time.  Hubby sticks around, but the rest of the family goes to the door where there’s a curtain that can be pulled to shield me from view.  Note: the curtain shields me from physical view and vice versa.  Everything can still be heard.  So while the nurse is giving me instructions, I hear snickering and laughing from behind the curtain.  Now I know what some people may say.  “So what?”, “Ignore them”, or “Focus on your baby.”  Which is all well and good, unless you’ve been in that situation.  I was trying to not pay attention.  However, I’ve just had a kid and been put through the physical and emotional wringer.  So yeah, I’m going to be a wee bit over-sensitive.  So screw you.  You want to laugh, go into the hallway where I can’t hear you.  Or better yet, don’t laugh!

I feel like there’s so much hype and expectation when it comes to breastfeeding.  Thus far I’ve seen it in one television episode, and it went swimmingly.  So problems, no crying baby, nothing.  Most of the literature and propaganda showing soft, loving photos or drawings of a mother blissfully nursing her child.  And there are groups out there that are vehemently opposed to anything other than breastfeeding, and a pregnant woman’s emotions aren’t exactly balanced.  So it’s entirely possible that a new mom is either filled with fear and anxiety that she won’t measure up, or perhaps she has no idea of the problems she may encounter.  Then again, things may go very smoothly.  I don’t mean to get all cynical and extreme.  I guess my point is, I felt unprepared for the difficulties that are actually fairly common.  I also felt (from little workshops/classes I attended that, in part, dealt with breatfeeding) that I was a failure if I couldn’t figure out something as “natural” as breastfeeding.

So I’m trying to nurse my son and it’s not going well.  At the very least it’s not a cake-walk.  My little guy is hungry and crying, I’m trying to get the hang of helping him latch on and feeling like I’m failing miserably.  Then I hear laughter from behind the little curtain by the door.  My mortification and (seeming) ineptitude are just getting worse.

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~ by phaerygurl on August 2, 2013.

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