Journal continued…

“So I package them up and send them out, wash my hands many times and I’m still worried.  So I have to help take care of Aidan and I’m worried something’s on my hands and it’ll get on him and he’ll get it in his mouth since putting his hands in his mouth is perfectly normal for 2-month-olds.  Aidan’s fine.  If he was upset in my arms, it was my paranoia getting him all upset.

So now I’m at the point where I’m remembering what I did before and trying to not wash my hands every five minutes.  I look at Charles and what he does and my co-workers and realize their kids are fine (at least 3 have infants/toddlers).  And I have occasional crying fits.  I repeat a mantra to myself sometimes.  Something like “I’m clean” or “I’m fine.”   It works about half the time.  I’m so hyperaware but also thinking in extremes.  I know I can’t live in a glass bubble, nor do I want to.”


~ by phaerygurl on May 7, 2013.

One Response to “Journal continued…”

  1. Reblogged this on Legends of Windemere and commented:
    The latest Post-Partum Depression blog post from my wife.

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