More seeds planted…

I can’t really say I had stress at work.  The most I can say is that a couple seeds got planted, both unintentionally.  These also laid the groundwork for one of my triggers: toxic substances.

I don’t remember which was first, but a little anxiety/OCD came out after each event.  The first deals specifically with pesticides.  We’d been having a small problem with ants in the office (Charles and I were living in Florida, which in case you didn’t know, is crawling with bugs (pun somewhat intended).  I know they can get big in the southern states (Arizona, Nevada, Texas).  Florida had some big ones, but regardless of size, they were plentiful.  So back to my office.  My co-workers ask me to have the landlord call in someone to take care of it.  Now I don’t want them spraying, especially since I’m very pregnant.  So I call and ask if something can be done, but I’d prefer no spraying, at my desk at least, since I’m pregnant.  So the tech comes and instead of spray, he’s got this little tube that reminds me of the crazy glue tubes.  He says he’s putting bait traps, it looks like he’s just touching the surface with the business end of his glue tube.  So he puts two traps at my desk.  I can’t see anything, but he assures me that it’s fine, won’t hurt me or anything.  Even with that said, and keep in mind I’ve cleaned my kitchen floor that had traps and I just cleaned and went on my merry way.  Yes I washed my hands.  But just knowing those traps were there made me avoid them like the plague.  I kept my food far away or in a different spot, I wouldn’t put any office supplies, or papers or anything near there.  And anything that happened to be near it, I didn’t touch.  Thankfully, there wasn’t much of that.

The second thing that happened deals with printer toner.  Now I know Xerox now makes this office printer that uses resin ink.  I’ve held them.  They’re like big crayon blocks.  They have numbers and they’re different shapes so you can tell the difference and you can’t put them in the wrong spot.  However, this printing system is still not widely used.  Most office printers have the tubes or whatever of the powdery stuff.  Now I’ve cleared my fair share of printer paper jams. and gotten the ink on my hands.  I didn’t lick my hands clean obviously, but I’d wash my hands a couple times and again, go about my day.  Another thing these printer have is this waste container, for toner that doesn’t make it to the page.  So it’s messy, and also has to be changed occasionally.  Now I took care of the old one partially, I think.  I know when I came back to the office, the new one had been taken care of by a fellow co-worker.  Then another fellow co-worker, with nothing but concern, told me I shouldn’t be touching the toner stuff because it’s toxic.  Anxiety/OCD rise up a little again.  I’m going back over and over in my mind, physically retracing my steps and actions several times to make sure I didn’t actually touch anything.  And I wash my hands a bunch of times.  Anything else dealing with the printer toner while I’m pregnant, my co-workers do under my instruction.

Looking back, the hand washing, the obsessive thinking, the worry, all the symptoms were there.  They didn’t consume my day, but they had started to rear their ugly heads.  And it would only get worse.

So what to take from this?  Be aware.  Be honest.  Be pro-active.  Depending on your job (if you’re working), your responsibilities may change somewhat; a little, a lot, or not at all.  However, if something bothers you, talk about it, write it down, and don’t freak out.  Granted, not freaking out may not be an option, depending on your personality and temperament.  Some people are natural worriers.  Some are not.  However, don’t let anyone belittle your concerns.  I can’t think of many thing that are not concerns, especially for new parents, because they’re new.  And for me, when it comes to pregnancy, I don’t really think there’s a such thing as a stupid question or concern.  Because they’re your questions, your concerns, and that gives them worth.

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~ by phaerygurl on April 2, 2013.

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