Rant #2 – It’s Not About the Sex

Now that I have your attention, I’ll explain.  This happened to me and I read of at least one PPD mother also experiencing this.  Since it’s my blog, I’ll share my story.

Sometime during my PPA/OCD symptoms developing, I found a pain in my breast.  I found it odd, so I made an appointment with my doctor.  By the time that appointment came, the pain had long since disappeared, but the pain HAD been there and there’s breast cancer in my family, so I went.  This was also when I was getting really bad (as in suicidal bad) and was trying to get an appointment with a psychiatrist so I could get medication.  I still had an anxiety/OCD issue in my apartment that was upsetting me.  While the one doctor was getting some information for me, another doctor (there were three in the practice when I was last there) came in.  Now during all my prenatal visits, the staff had been trying to get me to see all the doctors/midwives so I’d know whoever it was that would be delivering my little one.  Of course, the one doctor I never met was not only the one who delivered my son, but also who came in the exam room while I waited for doctor #1 to return.  Doctor #2 starts asking me questions.  I’m visibly upset by the way, know I’ve got bad postpartum anxiety/OCD and I had just finished crying.  So doctor #2 asks how old my son is and other questions that I don’t remember.  Then doctor #2 asks me when the last time was that my husband and I had fun in the sack (I’m paraphrasing, but you get my drift).  I’m stunned, and I’m guessing I look it.  I verbally stumble, then mention a few factors: I’m back to work, I’m still healing from my stitches (I had a vaginal birth and I tore to a two; anyone who’s given birth knows my pain), I’m suffering from postpartum depression, and I’ve got a newborn baby.  Doctor #2 responds with, okay, but the stitches are gone, so when did you last do the horizontal mambo?  I, again, repeat myself, adding that I’m still having pain despite the stitches being gone, and again, I’ve got a newborn!  I thought I was being pretty succinct and clear and common sensical.  Apparently not.

So to all doctors out there who have mothers come to you with any possibility or knowledge or having postpartum depression, don’t ask about it as if it’s the only thing keeping us from feeling better.  I know the scientific stuff to a point and that the “act” releases the feel good hormones.  But quite frankly, when we’re dealing with postpartum anything…that’s probably the last thing on our mind, if it’s even there.  Most to all of our focus and concentration is going to “please let me just get through the next second, minute, till I get home, please don’t let someone stare at me, please, please, please, just let me survive and not have a total meltdown in front of everyone.”

How do you do that?  Get educated on perinatal mood disorders, and instead of being apathetic and obtuse, give us a compassionate ear.  Trust me, you will be thanked.

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~ by phaerygurl on February 22, 2013.

2 Responses to “Rant #2 – It’s Not About the Sex”

  1. I nominated you for the Beautiful Blogger Award. http://legendsofwindemere.com/2013/02/25/beautiful-blogger-award/

  2. Nominated you for the Sunshine Award and you might want to put an About page on here.

    http://legendsofwindemere.com/2013/02/26/sunshine-award/

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